asking Ving Rhames' character, "Remember that crazy dream I told you
about, where I got married and there was a rabbit's foot?" Otherwise,
I am not sure how they are going to get him out of being a married
spy. That's right, it's time for another Update.
Also, a crazy video, which I should mention that I can't see,
http://www.military.com/video/operations-and-strategy/air-strikes/the-mother-of-all-jdam-attacks/792774915001/?ESRC=dod.nl
It is pouring down rain here in Afghanistan tonight. Really impressive
pouring rain. One of those blattery, spattering rains that seem like
they are coming from all directions at one. Since all of our
buildings, actual buildings, not tents, are made of corrugated tin, it
gets noisy. The tents are their own problem. All that stretched
canvas, with plastic layers underneath, it is both noisy and damp.
And have I brought up that there are no worms here? I know that this
seems like a creepy thing to obsess over, but there are seriously no
worms. I've never been anywhere when, after it rains, there are not
worm trails about. How does this soil work? How are there areas where
things DO grow, without worms? I am really freaked out by it. (And for
the two sci-fi nerds out there, this makes me wonder how the
sand-worms of Arrakis were supposed to work. Here I am, in a desert,
no worms at all. How did they get HUGE worms on Arrakis? I know,
space, planets, aliens and sci-fi, but seriously, it seems to fly in
the face of what I now recognize as an immutable fact of life: there
are not worms in the desert.)
I have spent the evening ignoring responsibilities. I mean, I did my
job, which was easy enough. My school work is mostly complete;
probably it is complete to the level I plan to complete it. But I have
been avoiding writing this Update. I am not sure what to talk about
tonight. I have spent most of the week working on school, which is a
good thing. (A great thing, a wonderful thing.) But it is not the sort
of thing that leads to fascinating Updates.
For a second I thought that I could really squeeze out some thoughts
on worms, but I think that I have tapped that well. What is left?
Well, we are firmly entered into the final pages of this journey,
there is certainly that to talk about. We're almost into the 40 days
left arena, which feels good. Everyone's heart is a little lighter
with the thought of leaving. We are all discussing strategies for
packing and carrying the least weight possible. They really do give
you a lot of weight to carry for these missions. In most cases, I
imagine, it is worthwhile. In our case, we never used 85% of the gear
we were issued. It was good to have it, I suppose, but we really
didn't get to evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of the products.
(Plus, while I was packing things up for shipment home, I found a few
items that I have no idea where they came from. They are in my bags,
which I packed, so I must have gotten them somewhere. They are useful
items and they look like issued gear, but I have memory of being
issued them. That's strange, right? Oh well, they are packed up and
ready to be returned, if they are extra then perhaps Uncle Sam will
make a profit.)
I don't know if I have characterized a deployment this way previously,
but it is a series of bad smells. There is the pungent man-odor of the
tents which never get aired out. There is the moist and cloying stench
of the latrines that are never flushed properly… (Think of every
female comedienne's routine about men, then imagine a place where
there are hundreds of men and no women. That's what a deployment it.
The segregation of males and females is a really good thing in lots of
ways, but hygiene is not one of those ways.) There is the hospital
reek of disinfectant and blood and then there is the general dusty
stink of Afghanistan. I was working on a theory the other day, the
idea that the point of all of this malignant odor is due to a
calculated strategy. If you were ever taken captive on a base,
blind-folded and walked out, you could tell where you were based on
the various stinks you encountered on the way. When you smelt BO and
farts, you'd know you were near the tents and could call out for help.
It's probably not accurate, but it would make a good scene in a movie.
Sneakers 2: The Afghan Campaign.
In return to the world news: There is an annual Baconfest in Chicago.
I will miss it this year, but would anyone like to guess where I will
be in April of 2012? That's right, BACONFEST!!!
For more of the Afghan Updates, or any I failed to send you, please
visit: http://dustintheeverything.blogspot.com/?zx=ee6fac97810abcfc
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